10 movie outfits we’d like to own more than Bella Swan’s wedding dress

 This article is  from IMDb

Submitted by Louisa Mellor

on Fri, 11/25/2011 - 12:54

Forget about Bella Swan’s sacrificial virgin silky number, these are the movie outfits we’d really like to own…

As news arrives that replicas of the wedding dress worn by Kristen Stewart in Breaking Dawn Part 1 are now available for the handsome sum of $799 (about £500), we got to thinking three things. Firstly, people spend far too much money on wedding dresses. Secondly, who exactly would want to emulate the emotionally abusive wedding of the damned in their real-life nuptials? And finally, there are a ton of more movie outfits we’d rather own than Bella Swan’s silky gown.

So here they are, the ten movie outfits we’d most like to see copied in real life. You’ll find no demure Kate Middleton-esque numbers here, nor any gold Leia bikinis (too much chafing), just awesome outfits. Some are practical, others less so, but their common factor is this: all of them are way more interesting than Bella bleeding Swan’s wedding dress.

Bear Man’s bear suit in True Grit 

One of the Coen brothers’ additions to last year’s True Grit provoked bewilderment and cries of “Genius!” in equal measure. We are of course


referring to the appearance of Bear Man. A travelling medicine man scratching out a tough existence on the edges of civilisation, Bear Man’s most impressive feature was without a doubt his moniker-inspiring choice of outfit.

Now, while we’re no advocates of wearing fur for fun, sometimes needs must. We envisage this little number coming in very handy come the eventual fall of capitalism. It’ll be just the thing to keep the chill of a nuclear winter out while pushing a shopping trolley full of tinned goods along the high street à la The Road. Cosy, even.

Woody Allen’s Hydrovac suit in Sleeper 

Sleeper deserves recognition not just for containing the line “My God, I beat a man insensible with a strawberry”, but also for the Hydrovac suit rescue scene. What a piece of clothing. The Hydrovac suit is both aircraft and river raft, transforming into a handy speedboat when required.

It bounces, floats, and gives slim jim Woody Allen the girth and weight of a sumo wrestler, allowing him to tackle his sci-fi pursuers. Unwieldy, yes. An unflattering shade of grey, perhaps. But useful in a bind? Mightily so. 

Kirk Douglas’ baggy knickers and chainmail combo in Spartacus 

From Alex and his Droogs’ onesies to Eyes Wide Shut’s creepy sex party masks and capes, Stanley Kubrick movies have spat out some iconic outfits. None are quite so daring and striking though, as this one-armed chainmail and baggy knicker combo sported by Kirk Douglas as noble slave Spartacus.

Those Thracian warriors were clearly made of stern stuff.  Leaving 80% of your body open to the elements while opting to protect only the right arm and the genitals sends out a bold, if somewhat unclear message.

I know what you’re thinking though, where will you find shoes and a bag to go with that?  Fear not, for there’s a particularly special picture of Sean Connery coming up, and he’s sporting just the thigh high boots to set those baggy man-knickers off a treat.

The talking hat in Labyrinth

Another head-turner of a look, this time from Jim Henson’s 1986 fantasy Labyrinth. We hear your objection already: if you’re going Labyrinth, why-oh-why not choose a pair of Bowie’s bulging tights?

Our logic is threefold on this one, firstly, as ladies, we don’t think we could fill them, secondly, we’re fairly confident Bowie’s tights in Labyrinth are at the root of all psychosexual disorders experienced by those born between the years of 1981 and 1984, and thirdly, everyone looks good in a hat.

This hat talks too, it’s got a beak, a Spanish accent and an attitude. Wear it to Ascot, to gad about town, or simply whilst relaxing in a hot bath. 

Olive’s rip-away dance outfit in Little Miss Sunshine (kneepads optional) 

Not only does this look say “smart professional”, it also says “good times here I come”. The perfect way to go from office to evening in one easy step, this cunning rip-away suit is the answer to all your Christmas work do wardrobe dilemmas.

Still not convinced? Then consider this: who doesn’t look good dressed as an eighties stripper? The whole thing is set off with a natty pair of knee pads. It's just the thing for the clement global warming November weather.

Dustin Hoffman’s spangly red dress in Tootsie

Bella Swan’s gown might have elegance on its side, but what it doesn’t have is sequins, and lots of them. We can’t think of anything cheerier to brighten up a trip to the shops than this cross-dressing long-sleeved red confection from 1982’s Tootsie.

Yes, you’ll need Dustin Hoffman’s slim-hipped figure to pull this one off, but what price a little dieting when you too could look this good? 

Sean Connery's futuristic mankini in Zardoz 

Back in 1974, the future was a distant, terrifying place. A place where fabric would exist in such small measure that exterminator warriors would be forced to romp around in outfits so revealing they’d make Jodie Marsh blush.

In Zardoz, we see altogether too much of Sean Connery. Sporting a handlebar moustache so thick and luscious Movemberians weep at its beauty, in the role of Zed, 007 cuts quite a fine dash. If you’re going to give the orange posing pouch and ammo belt at go though, we’d advise you to stay out of the provinces though, they’re just not ready.

Zach Braff’s wallpaper shirt in Garden State 

The only downside we can see to this shirt/camouflage arrangement is the impracticality of having to live your life stood next to this wall. Other than that, what’s not to like? With its curly leaves, flattering autumnal palette, and ability to be dressed up or down, you’ll get a lot more wear out of this than Bella’s wedding dress that’s for sure.

The Wheelers' fancy pants suits in Return to Oz

Now this is a look that will turn heads. This Regency sci-fi evening wear chic is one to save for special occasions, state dinners, awards ceremonies and the like. As demonstrated in Return to Oz, those wheel/arm protrusions are perfect for chasing children down alleyways, but on balance, we’d rather you didn’t.

Leeloo’s bandage number in The Fifth Element 

The Twilight dress might well be more suitable for a wedding, but you can’t deny anyone dressed in this Jean-Paul Gaultier doodad from The Fifth Element will make an impression. Looking for a way to stand apart from the crowd at your next job interview? Want to ensure you make the televised audition process of Britain’s Got Talent? This one will get you far more attention than a dopey wedding dress, especially if there’s more of you to love than there is of Milla Jovovich, which, let's face it, is likely.