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After it was announced that Dirty Dancing was the latest in line for the rehash treatment, we take a look at some of the others currently underway...
It’s happened to all of us at some point. One of your favourite films, maybe a childhood classic, maybe the creepiest horror you’ve ever seen, gets the Hollywood remake treatment. And, more often than not, the new version is never a patch on the original. There have been some exceptions to this of course, so there can still be a glimmer of hope. Here is a list of some of the most gut wrenchingly depressing remakes currently in the works, with a couple of tips on how they could make it all OK.
Dirty Dancing
This week brought terrible news for all romantics out there;
Dirty Dancing is the next great ‘80s film to get a reworking. It’s a classic ‘chick flick’ that pretty much set the standard for everything made after. It was a massive success for the small feature it started out as, and this probably added to the charm that surrounded it. Sadly, it seems that at the moment Kenny Ortega is on board for directing, and his previous work includes
High School Musical and
This Is It. Let’s hope he doesn’t take any influence of those two features for this remake.
How it could work
They need to stay away from casting a couple of Disney tweens and get two people with real chemistry that could at least attempt to rival that of Swayze and Gray. We’d actually opt for some familiar faces (Emma Stone springs to mind) and make it more of a comedy. It’s going to be hard, have you seen that trailer for
Footloose? That’s a ‘how not to’ guide for them right there.
The Evil Dead
This one might actually split opinion. We were all for an
Evil Dead sequel of some sort, but as more details have been released it’s getting further and further away from what hard-core fans of the series really want. The script has been written by Fede Alvarez and will be re-written (touch ups apparently) by Diablo Cody. It seems to have the seal of approval of Sam Raimi and Bruce Campbell, but with it now a remake and not a continuation of the series, how will it fare with the fans?
How it could work
Well that need to get Bruce Campbell in there, even if it's just for a cameo. Reference the old films so that true fans will feel superior, stay away from those awful hipster one liners Cody likes to spew out and, above all, keep it scary.
The Crow
This one hit us hard. this film captured the spirit of an era, and it’s darkness and edge reflected the grunge scene that was happening around it. With a killer soundtrack featuring Nine Inch Nails and The Violent Femmes,
The Crow was all about atmosphere, and it takes real guts to tackle a film with such a back story. The tragedy of Brandon Lee’s death whilst making it gives it an untouchable quality, so it’s hard to envisage anyone else playing the role of Eric Draven. To realise that, you need only look at the sequels. Bradley Cooper is the current name being bounced around for this particular role and although I think he is a guy with a hell of a lot more to offer than just a pretty face, it’s going to take a lot for someone to reclaim that iconic role as their own.
How it could work
If they work closely with author James O’Barr again, possibly making it even darker, and play around with the character of Eric Draven like the original novel, it could take it to new places.
Short Circuit
Oh yeah, they’ve gone there. Hollywood has got their filthy mitts on
Short Circuit. It seems they won’t be happy until all classic ‘80s films have been remade and our childhood films have been destroyed. It’s starting to feel real personal now, Hollywood. Currently they have asked writers of the original film, SS Wilson and Brent Maddock, to write the script, which is a good start at least.
How it could work
It needs to stay away from a gimmicky, slapstick film made solely for kids; it needs that balance so it can work for both children and adults. The director on board at the moment is Tim Hill, known for his work on
Alvin and the Chipmunks and
Hop. Not looking likely, is it?
Akira
Ever since the mention of a live action remake of
Akira, fan boys and girls have been outraged, and rumours about the project are doing nothing to calm anyone down. Nothing has been confirmed, but names being thrown around have ranged from the obvious man of the moment, Robert Pattinson, to the ‘what are they thinking?’ Brad Pitt. It’s a very tense situation and there is a lot of pressure on the makers of this to do the original and Manga series justice.
How it could work
Let’s stay away from the Hollywood pretty boys and focus on someone with a fierce nature that can pull it off; someone that will compliment the series and bring the true fans to the cinema.
Carrie
This is a surprising and incredibly unnecessary remake, considering it's one of the few film adaptations of his work that Stephen King has been happy with. Why rock the boat?
How it could work
In the book Carrie was chubby and rather unattractive, maybe if the script stuck to this original description and made it darker than the original, keeping away from all those super slim, attractive, Hollywood starlets, it could work.
Buffy The Vampire Slayer
Most people’s outrage about this one is not so much the remake of the 1992 film, but the fact it won’t have anything to do with the hit TV Show. It won’t even have the support of Joss Whedon and the cast members, but this hasn’t stopped producers Fran and Kaz Kuzui, who worked on both Buffy ventures, going ahead with the remake.
How it could work
Let’s just hope they learn from their mistakes and get a good writer on board. But without Joss it’s not looking hopeful. Those are big slayer shoes to fill.
Trollhunter
This one is particularly depressing because
Troll Hunter is not actually out in the UK yet, and there is already a remake being planned. The film has already opened to critical acclaim around the world and this success has got the Hollywood suits thinking. It's most likely to be the same thought process for
Let The Right One In, and it’s a shame that foreign language films like this get redone so quickly. It seems rather disrespectful.
How it could work
They should stay away from a scene-by-scene remake that’s only difference is language - that would be its biggest mistake.
Oldboy
This one came as quite a surprise a few weeks back, with Spike Lee signed on to direct a remake of the 2003 Park Chan-wook’s revenge epic
Oldboy. It's said to be a bit different than the original and will focus closely on the Manga series.
How it could work
Definitely sticking to the original source material is a great step, and there have also been rumours of Josh Brolin playing the leade Choi Min-Sik, which is certainly interesting at this stage.
Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3D
Texas Chainsaw Massacre is no stranger to remakes and sequels and it seems they’re not done yet. It has recently been revealed by Gunnar Hansen that the new film will follow straight from where the original left off. However, this added 3D gimmick has pretty much run its course and adds a sense of dread to the proposed remake.
How it could work
Well, technically it’s a bit more than a remake and it’s going to have a different story to the original, which could be promising. Gunnar Hansen is also said to be making a cameo, which would definitely boost the film's appeal after the pretty awful, pointless 2003 remake.
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